We arrived at Hebron on time this morning, which turned out to be a blessing to Flip, who was late and lamenting. "The problem is," he told me, "I hear the Lord telling me to get up because I have a lot to do, but somehow I find myself rolling over and just going back to sleep." I told him how it was a blessing to know that even he struggles with this. And I shared that one of the things God has been working on me about lately is to learn to listen to that "still, small voice" of the Holy Spirit and to obey Him.
Growing up in a very non-charismatic environment, the Holy Spirit was probably unintentionally minimized as a reactionary response. But as I've grown in my spiritual walk, I've realized more and more how dependent I am upon the Holy Spirit. We are told, after all, that "without me, you can do nothing." What makes us think that we can simply muster up enough strength or spiritual fortitude to do anything in our own power? That we can depend on our own wisdom (which is, as the Bible says, foolishness to God)? Even much of our spirituality can lead us into relying on our actions...what we DO to become more sanctified and pleasing to the Lord. We do, do, do and forget that our "doing" is impossible without Him!
As I sit here writing these words, I am reminded that I can't even write without Him! And I pray for the words to effectively communicate...for the Holy Spirit to fill me so that my words are His words and not my own.
Since going out to the abortion mill regularly, the Holy Spirit and His work has become so much more familiar to me. All the phrases I would hear about listening to the Holy Spirit and simply allowing Him to speak through us suddenly have become very real. It is one thing to hear these common Christian phrases and yet another to experience them so vividly every week. To literally not know what I will say as I grab that microphone, set aside my "notes," and pray for Him to fill me. And, just as He promises, He does just that. I open my mouth and things come out that I did not plan, thoughts and whole outlines flow into my head like a steady, dependable stream of refreshing water. And the more I taste them, the more I crave them! I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit! Not in some mystical, flop-on-the-floor showy kind of way, but in a way that is real and genuine. A way that is quiet just as is the nature of that still, small voice. I want God to be glorified and me to stand back in amazement at His presence once again.
And so it surprises me somewhat when those feelings come. The feelings that should not, logically, be there.
"I don't want to go to the mill today."
"What if I get on the mic and don't have anything to say?"
"Maybe I should take a break from ministry."
I've dealt with them often enough to know that they are usually not even true feelings, but the inevitable spiritual struggle in the battleground of my mind. I am thankful that as quickly as they come, they usually leave just as fast. Today, I had flashes of all these thoughts, but the one that caught me most off-guard was the second one. Me? Not want to speak on the mic? It is just not typical. From the first day I went to the mill, I have been speaking on the microphone. This is my comfort zone. And I have experienced amazing moments of supernatural clarity and speech. But today I felt mild apprehension, which I expressed to Flip. He prayed over me and, in obedience to that still, small voice, I grabbed the mic and began to speak. And as I read the Scripture the Holy Spirit led me to, that refreshing stream trickled and then poured. Out flowed everything He wanted me to say. And the ones to whom He was speaking walked out moments later and told Flip and the others in the driveway that they had chosen life!
That still, small voice was faithfully at work this morning and we listened. And as we prayed for faith "above all," as Ephesians 6:16 commands, we know that He was at work in other hearts, as well. We may not see results here, but we have faith that we will see them someday in eternity!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
The Humble and the Proud
This morning started off with lots of activity! The moment the RV arrived, a couple pulled up in their car and I approached and asked them if they were there for an ultrasound. It ended up being a couple that Sarah had met a couple weeks ago, so I ushered them onto the RV and talked with them a moment while Sarah walked over from across the street to meet them. Sherry, our nurse today, arrived a few minutes later, so with things taken care of, I walked back over to the entrance of the mill.
Not too long after, a car pulled into the driveway and pulled to the side of the lot. The woman got out and walked into the mill, but the man pulled over to me and rolled down his window. I crossed the "forbidden line" to talk to him, but fortunately no one from the mill came out to reprimand me and I am so thankful, as the conversation was a fruitful one. He was Hispanic, but understood much of what I said and looked concerned, especially seeing the sign of the aborted baby. Conviction was on his face as he looked at the Tiny Hands booklet I gave him, but he said he couldn't read it. So I called to Elleina and asked her to bring a Spanish copy for him. I was surprised as he took it and sat there, reading the enclosed Spanish tract so intently that he was mouthing each word. He then flipped through the book and asked if he could have it. "Yes, absolutely," I said, and I asked him to go inside and give it to his girlfriend and tell her we were there to help. I gently encouraged him that this was his baby, too, and that he had a right to speak on his baby's behalf...that he needed to speak up for his baby! "This is not good," he said. "It's not good."
It was one of the most beautiful sights to see him back his car up, put it in park while still running, and jump out of his car and literally run toward the door! There was urgency not only in his expression, but also in his action! I will never forget that response and I wish so much that this was the response of all the men we spoke to today. I wish it was always the response to the truth. But sadly, it was not today and is not on any other typical day. I think of the distinctly opposite responses, including a man who just smirked sarcastically and casually said, "No, she don't need no help. How much do you get paid to do this?"
"Nothing, sir. We do this because we love the Lord and we love babies." His girlfriend sat in the passenger seat, silent and full of guilt and pain. But when I said, "Why don't you let her speak? Why don't you ask her if she wants to talk to us?" and he did, she turned down the offer of help and the boyfriend pulled away. Interestingly, despite the hardness of the man and her rejection of our help, I do have to note that they were pulling out of the driveway and I don't know if they ended up returning. So, God may still be at work here and perhaps this was a save. God knows.
I think also of the man who slowed his vehicle down on the street and then slowly turned down Denmark street across from the driveway. I thought it was just a passing curious driver...until he flew across the street into the entrance, scraping the bottom of his SUV on the driveway. When he pulled back out, I confronted him with the sign of the aborted baby and asked him why he brought someone here. Incredulous and with a note of sarcasm, he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. She's not here for an abortion. It's just a check-up."
"But why would you bring her to a place like this for a check-up when there are so many other places she could go? We can help her find another clinic. Why support a place that kills babies?"
"It's not my money. She can do what she wants with her money."
And I think finally of the man who brought a young girl, probably his own daughter, through the gates of hell to murder her unborn baby. He looked hard and cold and barely gave us a glance as he sped into the lot. But I wonder if she would have talked to us if not for his evil influence. How many girls are broken and hardened at such young ages because of their sin, compounded by sinful parents who help them in their attempt to cover their sin and "fix" it? The sin cycle continues on and on...unless Jesus enters into the muck and mire and breaks it with the power of His blood! Repentance is the only hope for those who are hopelessly enslaved to their sin!
And that Gospel message...the true hope for true and lasting change...is the reason for the record number of babies saved so far this year from abortion through Cities4Life: 450+! It is not about what the "woman really wants" or what will be best for her or any of the other humanistic arguments that I've sadly heard from other ministries. It is about the Gospel. It is always about the Gospel! It starts there and it ends there. It is about opening God's Word and showing sinners their need of a Savior...showing them why they can't stop the sin cycle on their own, through their own power. Helping them to see that it is about far more than just a choice that will affect their lives here...it's about a choice that will affect their lives for eternity. And not just their lives, but the lives of their unborn children who have no say in the matter.
To my knowledge, there were no saves today, except possibly the one. But what a day to see the stark difference between the humble and the proud. I pray that man continues to be convicted, and that he will repent and allow Jesus to save him. And I pray that his girlfriend read the Tiny Hands that he heroically brought to her and was convicted enough to not go through with it. Please pray for their salvation!
Not too long after, a car pulled into the driveway and pulled to the side of the lot. The woman got out and walked into the mill, but the man pulled over to me and rolled down his window. I crossed the "forbidden line" to talk to him, but fortunately no one from the mill came out to reprimand me and I am so thankful, as the conversation was a fruitful one. He was Hispanic, but understood much of what I said and looked concerned, especially seeing the sign of the aborted baby. Conviction was on his face as he looked at the Tiny Hands booklet I gave him, but he said he couldn't read it. So I called to Elleina and asked her to bring a Spanish copy for him. I was surprised as he took it and sat there, reading the enclosed Spanish tract so intently that he was mouthing each word. He then flipped through the book and asked if he could have it. "Yes, absolutely," I said, and I asked him to go inside and give it to his girlfriend and tell her we were there to help. I gently encouraged him that this was his baby, too, and that he had a right to speak on his baby's behalf...that he needed to speak up for his baby! "This is not good," he said. "It's not good."
It was one of the most beautiful sights to see him back his car up, put it in park while still running, and jump out of his car and literally run toward the door! There was urgency not only in his expression, but also in his action! I will never forget that response and I wish so much that this was the response of all the men we spoke to today. I wish it was always the response to the truth. But sadly, it was not today and is not on any other typical day. I think of the distinctly opposite responses, including a man who just smirked sarcastically and casually said, "No, she don't need no help. How much do you get paid to do this?"
"Nothing, sir. We do this because we love the Lord and we love babies." His girlfriend sat in the passenger seat, silent and full of guilt and pain. But when I said, "Why don't you let her speak? Why don't you ask her if she wants to talk to us?" and he did, she turned down the offer of help and the boyfriend pulled away. Interestingly, despite the hardness of the man and her rejection of our help, I do have to note that they were pulling out of the driveway and I don't know if they ended up returning. So, God may still be at work here and perhaps this was a save. God knows.
I think also of the man who slowed his vehicle down on the street and then slowly turned down Denmark street across from the driveway. I thought it was just a passing curious driver...until he flew across the street into the entrance, scraping the bottom of his SUV on the driveway. When he pulled back out, I confronted him with the sign of the aborted baby and asked him why he brought someone here. Incredulous and with a note of sarcasm, he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. She's not here for an abortion. It's just a check-up."
"But why would you bring her to a place like this for a check-up when there are so many other places she could go? We can help her find another clinic. Why support a place that kills babies?"
"It's not my money. She can do what she wants with her money."
And I think finally of the man who brought a young girl, probably his own daughter, through the gates of hell to murder her unborn baby. He looked hard and cold and barely gave us a glance as he sped into the lot. But I wonder if she would have talked to us if not for his evil influence. How many girls are broken and hardened at such young ages because of their sin, compounded by sinful parents who help them in their attempt to cover their sin and "fix" it? The sin cycle continues on and on...unless Jesus enters into the muck and mire and breaks it with the power of His blood! Repentance is the only hope for those who are hopelessly enslaved to their sin!
And that Gospel message...the true hope for true and lasting change...is the reason for the record number of babies saved so far this year from abortion through Cities4Life: 450+! It is not about what the "woman really wants" or what will be best for her or any of the other humanistic arguments that I've sadly heard from other ministries. It is about the Gospel. It is always about the Gospel! It starts there and it ends there. It is about opening God's Word and showing sinners their need of a Savior...showing them why they can't stop the sin cycle on their own, through their own power. Helping them to see that it is about far more than just a choice that will affect their lives here...it's about a choice that will affect their lives for eternity. And not just their lives, but the lives of their unborn children who have no say in the matter.
To my knowledge, there were no saves today, except possibly the one. But what a day to see the stark difference between the humble and the proud. I pray that man continues to be convicted, and that he will repent and allow Jesus to save him. And I pray that his girlfriend read the Tiny Hands that he heroically brought to her and was convicted enough to not go through with it. Please pray for their salvation!
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Hebron report, June 10
Well, yesterday was an interesting and very interactive day at the mill! This is going to be long, as I am also feeling verbose. And I find writing to be helpful in processing these interactions. Our morning of ministry started out with us being greeted by a friendly pit bull puppy who enjoyed jumping and licking...and unfortunately running out into traffic! We were hoping after a few times dodging cars that he would just find his way home, but after a scary near-miss with one car, we decided animal control needed to be called. Susan handled that while I picked him up and carried him to a warehouse across the street where the workers (who had been alerted by the squealing tires) and I looked for a way to tie him up temporarily. Finally, I headed back down the street where I saw a young couple walking right toward the driveway of the mill. Ugh! The dog distraction had kept us away from our "posts" and the couple walked right in. :( I called out to them and then ran over to the mic, but I do wonder what difference it would have made if they could have seen our baby Malachi sign and been met with smiling faces and face-to-face conversation. God is in control, though.
The animal control guy finally arrived and turned around in the mill parking lot. I approached and told him where the dog was. He seemed disturbed by my sign and surprised that we were the ones who had called...the crazy people with the sign picturing an aborted baby. Yes, we care for ALL life!
Later in the day, I did get a chance to talk to that same couple as they left. I told them it was not too late for God's grace even if they had already gone through with it and I gave them some of our Spanish materials, since they pretended to not speak much English...okay, maybe they didn't, but his Spanish accent was nearly gone, so I suspect he knew exactly what I was saying. Sadly, you begin to recognize the many times you get lied to by people who are fighting a guilty conscience and shame.
Another encounter was with two ladies pulling out of the driveway. I asked if they had dropped someone off for an abortion and before the words were out of my mouth, they said, "We don't agree with all that. We don't like abortion," etc. So, wondering what they were doing there, I pressed harder. "So you didn't drop someone off?" They said, "Oh, yes, well our friend works here. But that's her choice." As nicely as possible, I told them that they shouldn't be driving her here. I told them they were complicit in the murder of babies, just as they would be if they dropped off their friend to murder someone...in the eyes of the law they would be accomplices. I even told them we could help her find a job, as we had for others. But they did not appreciate hearing the truth and said, "Well, that's God's place to judge, not ours," and their faces turned stony and hard as they sarcastically said, "God bless!" and drove away. :(
There was also one interaction with yelling, cursing, prideful women who "had already killed my baby, so it's too late!" I told her (and the others) that it was not too late for God, that He could forgive her and we could help her. But she and the others continued swearing and yelling, uninterested in anything I had to say.
Another man drove out out of the parking lot and I was able to talk to him. He looked a little upset and was soft to what I had to say, after telling me that no, he had not dropped anyone off. I knew he was likely lying (unless he had come from the not-very-busy mattress store behind the abortion mill), but just handed him a book and said if he ever knew of any women that were abortion-minded he could give them that book. I showed him the sign with baby Malachi and said, "This is what they do to babies in there and we're just here to help women." He thanked me and drove away. About 10 minutes later, he pulled back in the lot and into a space. Then he pulled out again. I talked to him again and this time he was honest(er), "My wife brought a friend here and she's in there trying to get her out." I suspect it was his wife and he was trying to get her out. I told him to call us if he needed anything at all. Near the end of the day, he pulled back in the lot. By this time, I knew he had probably lost the battle and so I waved him over to me. He pulled up and I handed him a post-abortion booklet, telling him if she did go through with it that this booklet would help her. Again, he thanked me and when he finally left, I don't think I saw any others in the car besides he and his wife. :( Sad. This will probably ruin their relationship, as it does to most couples apart from the grace of God.
At one point after I was on the mic, I was walking back to the driveway, feeling very uplifted in spirit. God whispered in my heart, "Faith is the Victory," and I started trying to think of the words to that hymn. We had prayed through the armor of God on the way to the mill, as we usually do, and the shield of faith had stood out to me more than usual because I was finding my words not coming smoothly as I prayed and my thinking felt foggy. Yet, I know that when we are weak, God is our strength! And we know that God has the victory, even through weak people like us! So, I had been impressed to pray very earnestly on that piece of armor in particular. So I was curious when God brought that song to my mind. I couldn't remember the lyrics, so I looked them up on my phone. Here they are:
Could those lyrics be any more appropriate? I sang and hummed this off and on for the rest of the morning! There are some great modern praise and worship songs, but I am coming to appreciate the depth of doctrine in the lyrics of old hymns that I used to sing without fully comprehending.
The last story was the saddest to me. An Indian couple walked down the road from the bus stop while I was on the mic. Susan was by the driveway and she said when they approached and saw the sign, the woman's eyes got huge and she seemed horrified. They continued walking down the road and stood about 100 feet away, talking for about 20 minutes. Since there did not seem to be any logical reason to stand there talking, we assumed she had come for an abortion and was now struggling with the decision. Susan went down to talk to them after a bit and they said she wasn't pregnant and they didn't need help, so she handed them a Gospel of John booklet and told them it was a gift. They continued talking, then moved across the street and under a tree for another 20 minutes or so. Finally, they walked determinedly across the street toward the entrance. I ran down to get on the mic and rotated the speaker toward the driveway and preached my heart out at them! I didn't see them through the cracks in the fence, so I assumed they still had not been able to do it. Then I saw them again crossing the street and this time, we walked over and talked to them for a while.
They didn't want to share the details, so I asked if I could just pray for them. I prayed that whatever the circumstances were, that God would make a way and that they would do what is right. Then I began a guessing game. "Well, if your doctor is telling you to abort, you need to know that doctors are very afraid of being sued. I have a close friend who was told her baby would have all kinds of problems and that baby is a healthy 7-year-old now with NO problems!" "No, no, it's not that at all," he said. "There are just difficulties." Finally, after a few wrong guesses which probably were just getting annoying to him ;) , the most we could get out of them (mostly him, as she really didn't talk to us), was that they were about to split up and then they found out she's pregnant. She is going back to India and he is staying here. The baby would have a hard life. There was no way she could have the baby. We still didn't understand why. There seemed to be more. And when I came home, my husband hit it dead on, I'm sure. He said she was probably going home to an arranged marriage and if she were pregnant, that would ruin the marriage plans and cause major family problems. It's funny how you can forget some of these cultural things. It seemed so obvious when he said it! I can see now how the guilt and shame and fear kept her from even wanting to talk about it and caused her to believe this was her only choice. I feel so sad for her, as whatever decision she makes will have serious, life-altering consequences.
When we finally left, over an hour later than we usually do, they were still sitting there talking. I do wonder if she will be back or if she will choose what looks like the harder path. She knew what the right choice was and that is why she struggled so much. And that's exactly what we told them. Pray for their salvation and pray for the life of their baby! We shared the Gospel with them and even though they didn't take the Tiny Hands booklet, they do have the Gospel of John. I'm glad Susan was able to give that to them! Pray for a miracle in both of their lives! I do believe we watered the seed with them and that perhaps someone else will someday see the harvest. I'm praying for that!
Well, that was our very busy day! I think I remembered everything. Finally, I'd like to just thank you all for praying for us. Honestly, on days like yesterday when there is so much going on and only two of us, it is all I can do to simply utter a quick "Lord, help us," or "Lord, please convict them. Stop them!" But knowing that we have many others praying for us and interceding on behalf of the babies is such an encouragement and makes a huge difference! And we are winning this battle overall in the hearts of most people. We have so many positive interactions with the cars passing by...friendly waves and thumbs-up. (I thank the Lord for that, too, as the angry interactions can feel so heavy on our spirits after a while). It is an encouragement to think that the attitude toward abortion in this country is changing and that clinics are closing! And not because of politics, either. As Flip says, the politics will follow after the hearts of Americans change. It will be a wonderful day when we no longer have to fight this battle!
The animal control guy finally arrived and turned around in the mill parking lot. I approached and told him where the dog was. He seemed disturbed by my sign and surprised that we were the ones who had called...the crazy people with the sign picturing an aborted baby. Yes, we care for ALL life!
Later in the day, I did get a chance to talk to that same couple as they left. I told them it was not too late for God's grace even if they had already gone through with it and I gave them some of our Spanish materials, since they pretended to not speak much English...okay, maybe they didn't, but his Spanish accent was nearly gone, so I suspect he knew exactly what I was saying. Sadly, you begin to recognize the many times you get lied to by people who are fighting a guilty conscience and shame.
Another encounter was with two ladies pulling out of the driveway. I asked if they had dropped someone off for an abortion and before the words were out of my mouth, they said, "We don't agree with all that. We don't like abortion," etc. So, wondering what they were doing there, I pressed harder. "So you didn't drop someone off?" They said, "Oh, yes, well our friend works here. But that's her choice." As nicely as possible, I told them that they shouldn't be driving her here. I told them they were complicit in the murder of babies, just as they would be if they dropped off their friend to murder someone...in the eyes of the law they would be accomplices. I even told them we could help her find a job, as we had for others. But they did not appreciate hearing the truth and said, "Well, that's God's place to judge, not ours," and their faces turned stony and hard as they sarcastically said, "God bless!" and drove away. :(
There was also one interaction with yelling, cursing, prideful women who "had already killed my baby, so it's too late!" I told her (and the others) that it was not too late for God, that He could forgive her and we could help her. But she and the others continued swearing and yelling, uninterested in anything I had to say.
Another man drove out out of the parking lot and I was able to talk to him. He looked a little upset and was soft to what I had to say, after telling me that no, he had not dropped anyone off. I knew he was likely lying (unless he had come from the not-very-busy mattress store behind the abortion mill), but just handed him a book and said if he ever knew of any women that were abortion-minded he could give them that book. I showed him the sign with baby Malachi and said, "This is what they do to babies in there and we're just here to help women." He thanked me and drove away. About 10 minutes later, he pulled back in the lot and into a space. Then he pulled out again. I talked to him again and this time he was honest(er), "My wife brought a friend here and she's in there trying to get her out." I suspect it was his wife and he was trying to get her out. I told him to call us if he needed anything at all. Near the end of the day, he pulled back in the lot. By this time, I knew he had probably lost the battle and so I waved him over to me. He pulled up and I handed him a post-abortion booklet, telling him if she did go through with it that this booklet would help her. Again, he thanked me and when he finally left, I don't think I saw any others in the car besides he and his wife. :( Sad. This will probably ruin their relationship, as it does to most couples apart from the grace of God.
At one point after I was on the mic, I was walking back to the driveway, feeling very uplifted in spirit. God whispered in my heart, "Faith is the Victory," and I started trying to think of the words to that hymn. We had prayed through the armor of God on the way to the mill, as we usually do, and the shield of faith had stood out to me more than usual because I was finding my words not coming smoothly as I prayed and my thinking felt foggy. Yet, I know that when we are weak, God is our strength! And we know that God has the victory, even through weak people like us! So, I had been impressed to pray very earnestly on that piece of armor in particular. So I was curious when God brought that song to my mind. I couldn't remember the lyrics, so I looked them up on my phone. Here they are:
Encamped along the hills of light,
Ye Christian soldiers, rise.
And press the battle ere the night
Shall veil the glowing skies.
Against the foe in vales below
Let all our strength be hurled.
Faith is the victory, we know,
That overcomes the world.
Ye Christian soldiers, rise.
And press the battle ere the night
Shall veil the glowing skies.
Against the foe in vales below
Let all our strength be hurled.
Faith is the victory, we know,
That overcomes the world.
Refrain
Faith is the victory! Faith is the victory!
O glorious victory, that overcomes the world.
O glorious victory, that overcomes the world.
His banner over us is love,
Our sword the Word of God.
We tread the road the saints above
With shouts of triumph trod.
By faith, they like a whirlwind’s breath,
Swept on o’er every field.
The faith by which they conquered death
Is still our shining shield.
Our sword the Word of God.
We tread the road the saints above
With shouts of triumph trod.
By faith, they like a whirlwind’s breath,
Swept on o’er every field.
The faith by which they conquered death
Is still our shining shield.
Refrain
On every hand the foe we find
Drawn up in dread array.
Let tents of ease be left behind,
And onward to the fray.
Salvation’s helmet on each head,
With truth all girt about,
The earth shall tremble ’neath our tread,
And echo with our shout.
Drawn up in dread array.
Let tents of ease be left behind,
And onward to the fray.
Salvation’s helmet on each head,
With truth all girt about,
The earth shall tremble ’neath our tread,
And echo with our shout.
Refrain
To him that overcomes the foe,
White raiment shall be giv’n.
Before the angels he shall know
His name confessed in Heav’n.
Then onward from the hill of light,
Our hearts with love aflame,
We’ll vanquish all the hosts of night,
In Jesus’ conqu’ring Name.
White raiment shall be giv’n.
Before the angels he shall know
His name confessed in Heav’n.
Then onward from the hill of light,
Our hearts with love aflame,
We’ll vanquish all the hosts of night,
In Jesus’ conqu’ring Name.
Refrain
Could those lyrics be any more appropriate? I sang and hummed this off and on for the rest of the morning! There are some great modern praise and worship songs, but I am coming to appreciate the depth of doctrine in the lyrics of old hymns that I used to sing without fully comprehending.
The last story was the saddest to me. An Indian couple walked down the road from the bus stop while I was on the mic. Susan was by the driveway and she said when they approached and saw the sign, the woman's eyes got huge and she seemed horrified. They continued walking down the road and stood about 100 feet away, talking for about 20 minutes. Since there did not seem to be any logical reason to stand there talking, we assumed she had come for an abortion and was now struggling with the decision. Susan went down to talk to them after a bit and they said she wasn't pregnant and they didn't need help, so she handed them a Gospel of John booklet and told them it was a gift. They continued talking, then moved across the street and under a tree for another 20 minutes or so. Finally, they walked determinedly across the street toward the entrance. I ran down to get on the mic and rotated the speaker toward the driveway and preached my heart out at them! I didn't see them through the cracks in the fence, so I assumed they still had not been able to do it. Then I saw them again crossing the street and this time, we walked over and talked to them for a while.
They didn't want to share the details, so I asked if I could just pray for them. I prayed that whatever the circumstances were, that God would make a way and that they would do what is right. Then I began a guessing game. "Well, if your doctor is telling you to abort, you need to know that doctors are very afraid of being sued. I have a close friend who was told her baby would have all kinds of problems and that baby is a healthy 7-year-old now with NO problems!" "No, no, it's not that at all," he said. "There are just difficulties." Finally, after a few wrong guesses which probably were just getting annoying to him ;) , the most we could get out of them (mostly him, as she really didn't talk to us), was that they were about to split up and then they found out she's pregnant. She is going back to India and he is staying here. The baby would have a hard life. There was no way she could have the baby. We still didn't understand why. There seemed to be more. And when I came home, my husband hit it dead on, I'm sure. He said she was probably going home to an arranged marriage and if she were pregnant, that would ruin the marriage plans and cause major family problems. It's funny how you can forget some of these cultural things. It seemed so obvious when he said it! I can see now how the guilt and shame and fear kept her from even wanting to talk about it and caused her to believe this was her only choice. I feel so sad for her, as whatever decision she makes will have serious, life-altering consequences.
When we finally left, over an hour later than we usually do, they were still sitting there talking. I do wonder if she will be back or if she will choose what looks like the harder path. She knew what the right choice was and that is why she struggled so much. And that's exactly what we told them. Pray for their salvation and pray for the life of their baby! We shared the Gospel with them and even though they didn't take the Tiny Hands booklet, they do have the Gospel of John. I'm glad Susan was able to give that to them! Pray for a miracle in both of their lives! I do believe we watered the seed with them and that perhaps someone else will someday see the harvest. I'm praying for that!
Well, that was our very busy day! I think I remembered everything. Finally, I'd like to just thank you all for praying for us. Honestly, on days like yesterday when there is so much going on and only two of us, it is all I can do to simply utter a quick "Lord, help us," or "Lord, please convict them. Stop them!" But knowing that we have many others praying for us and interceding on behalf of the babies is such an encouragement and makes a huge difference! And we are winning this battle overall in the hearts of most people. We have so many positive interactions with the cars passing by...friendly waves and thumbs-up. (I thank the Lord for that, too, as the angry interactions can feel so heavy on our spirits after a while). It is an encouragement to think that the attitude toward abortion in this country is changing and that clinics are closing! And not because of politics, either. As Flip says, the politics will follow after the hearts of Americans change. It will be a wonderful day when we no longer have to fight this battle!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Three Saves!
Today was a wonderful day. I was finally able to get back out on the sidewalk and minister to the abortion-determined moms. God emptied me out of my self, as He so faithfully does, and allowed me to speak with both compassion and hard truth...words that could only come from His Spirit. I never even saw Jeannette today, as she was counseling on the mobile ultrasound unit all morning and had the privilege of being involved with two saves!
While I was on the mic, one couple drove away, stopping long enough to say that they chose life! It is amazing to be used by God to save a human life...a baby! Truly, He does the work, not any of us. It is a humbling experience. Never am I as close to God and as in-tune with His Spirit as when I am serving on the front lines of this ministry. The fact is, when you jump into a spiritual battle so intense that you can almost physically FEEL it, you simply can't go into it without confession and repentance. You must put on every piece of the spiritual armor (Eph. 6:10-18) and, in so doing, you must also hold onto that shield of faith, knowing that your preparation in the Lord will "extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
Along these lines, I must say that our long drive down to the mill is a blessing. It gives us the opportunity to really focus on where we are going and why. It gives us 35-40 focused minutes of prayer to confess our sins and plead on behalf of the babies. This morning, Elleina and I prayed through each verse of Ephesians 6:10-18, she reading a verse aloud and me following each verse with specific prayer. We continue to pray each week that God would awaken His church to the violent infanticide that is going on every day, just as it went on in the days of Israel when babies were sacrificed to Molek. There really is no difference except that these babies are not seen or heard as they suffer excruciating pain for the sake of the god of materialism and convenience (for the most part). (However, if they could cry audibly, I suspect we as Christians would be no less apathetic as their cries simply became our version of "normal." I'm reminded of this as we've been reading the story of George Muller. Even he was fairly immune to the orphans roaming the streets in his time until God got a hold of his heart and he saw reality for what it was.) Flip Benham stopped by this morning to encourage the "troops" and was sharing how God is moving among the church and "clinics" are continuing to close. Praise the Lord! Please keep praying with us for God to awaken His church!
I also met a lady named Jill who came out for the first time this morning and was visibly moved by what she saw. I sometimes forget how burdened and stomach-sick I felt the first time I dared to tread in front of the "gates of hell." Even hell on earth can become "normal" if we forget the reality of what goes on there. I never thought I could...and yet I now find myself in that place more than I'd like. I guess that is why sometimes I take time to refresh my memory by looking at images, watching videos, and reading articles that jolt me back to reality...that even cause me to weep...that remind me why we fight to end the atrocity of abortion and to offer hope to the lost, enslaved souls. I want to feel something when I think of abortion! I want to be broken-hearted, as Jesus certainly is. I want no more of the complacency I "enjoyed" for too much of my life. I want to faithfully hate (and yet love) going where I must go each week!
But what we do with those feelings is just as important as experiencing them. Anger must be righteous and it must be directed at the proper target. This morning, a lady whom I had seen drive by a couple times in a minivan, came walking across the street to the other end of the sidewalk to talk to Jennifer. She appeared angry, even from a distance. Unsure if I should go over (or if it was just a needless distraction), I asked Eliana if she knew what was going on. "I don't know. Go find out!" I took that as God's leading and did so.
This lady, whose son had an appointment at the psychiatric facility across the street (fitting location, huh?) was angered by our signs because of the impact they had on her 11-year-old son. I gently told her that these signs have literally saved lives and that we are told in the Bible to expose the darkness for what it truly is. "I'm an atheist, so that doesn't matter to me!" She was not interested in the fact that literal human lives have been saved. She belittled the value of the lives of others, caring only for the emotional state of her son. I told her I was sorry for her son's difficulties and that I would pray for both her and him. She stormed off, angrily accusing us of only caring for the unborn and not her child.
I will admit that one of the hardest things is that children have to be exposed to this at times, but many mothers have been completely unaffected by the images of a developing fetus, yet are stunned to see the gruesome reality of abortion and choose life solely because of it! And God protects they eyes of the little ones. In the experience of most of the counselors with children, He sovereignly allows them a simple understanding that this is a "broken" baby and protects them from any sort of trauma. I'm afraid this lady's child's mental issues have more to do with growing up with an atheistic mother than anything else. After all, without God, how do you handle such realities? If only this lady's anger would spur her to do something to end the reality that these pictures portray, rather than getting angry about truth being exposed.
Ultimately, there were three confirmed babies saved today! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness! I did not, however, remember to call the abortion mill at Wendover and I am irritated with myself for that. Prayerfully I will remember tomorrow. We need to know when they are open, as their schedule seems random, and our team has not been able to minister there for over a month as we want to be as effective as possible and use our ministry time wisely.
Well, I am awfully chatty tonight. There is a reason I don't blog much. ;) Shifting topics, my afternoon wrapped up with a great phone conversation with a random dad who is considering homeschooling and had heard I was the "homeschooling expert" (ha! I truly think any parent who homeschools is an expert in their own right!!) Nothing excites me more than sparking excitement for homeschooling in others! This dad is slowly realizing that there is another way to educate that does not include uncomfortable desks and seemingly-pointless assignments taught by factory-method for 6-7 hours a day, as though individuality did not exist and every child must learn "X" by grade "Y" or they are not "normal." Please. Oh to be a part of setting minds free! How exciting it is to see the lightbulbs come on!
His son simply does not learn like others and has had a self-esteem-destroying label slapped on him. I encouraged the dad that if God is in this, He will direct him and to not be afraid of all the unknowns. I encouraged him to find his son's interests...things that truly excite him...and look for learning opportunities to tailor his education to meet his needs. Perhaps starting a business would help make math meaningful so that it would make sense to him! It will give this dad more time with his son and pursuing something of value, such as a business, will then put more value on his education in his son's mind. I'm excited for this family as they set out on this new, uncharted path, trusting in God to guide them through the learning curve!
Well, I really must be done now. I'm sure you've heard enough of me for one night!
While I was on the mic, one couple drove away, stopping long enough to say that they chose life! It is amazing to be used by God to save a human life...a baby! Truly, He does the work, not any of us. It is a humbling experience. Never am I as close to God and as in-tune with His Spirit as when I am serving on the front lines of this ministry. The fact is, when you jump into a spiritual battle so intense that you can almost physically FEEL it, you simply can't go into it without confession and repentance. You must put on every piece of the spiritual armor (Eph. 6:10-18) and, in so doing, you must also hold onto that shield of faith, knowing that your preparation in the Lord will "extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."
Along these lines, I must say that our long drive down to the mill is a blessing. It gives us the opportunity to really focus on where we are going and why. It gives us 35-40 focused minutes of prayer to confess our sins and plead on behalf of the babies. This morning, Elleina and I prayed through each verse of Ephesians 6:10-18, she reading a verse aloud and me following each verse with specific prayer. We continue to pray each week that God would awaken His church to the violent infanticide that is going on every day, just as it went on in the days of Israel when babies were sacrificed to Molek. There really is no difference except that these babies are not seen or heard as they suffer excruciating pain for the sake of the god of materialism and convenience (for the most part). (However, if they could cry audibly, I suspect we as Christians would be no less apathetic as their cries simply became our version of "normal." I'm reminded of this as we've been reading the story of George Muller. Even he was fairly immune to the orphans roaming the streets in his time until God got a hold of his heart and he saw reality for what it was.) Flip Benham stopped by this morning to encourage the "troops" and was sharing how God is moving among the church and "clinics" are continuing to close. Praise the Lord! Please keep praying with us for God to awaken His church!
I also met a lady named Jill who came out for the first time this morning and was visibly moved by what she saw. I sometimes forget how burdened and stomach-sick I felt the first time I dared to tread in front of the "gates of hell." Even hell on earth can become "normal" if we forget the reality of what goes on there. I never thought I could...and yet I now find myself in that place more than I'd like. I guess that is why sometimes I take time to refresh my memory by looking at images, watching videos, and reading articles that jolt me back to reality...that even cause me to weep...that remind me why we fight to end the atrocity of abortion and to offer hope to the lost, enslaved souls. I want to feel something when I think of abortion! I want to be broken-hearted, as Jesus certainly is. I want no more of the complacency I "enjoyed" for too much of my life. I want to faithfully hate (and yet love) going where I must go each week!
But what we do with those feelings is just as important as experiencing them. Anger must be righteous and it must be directed at the proper target. This morning, a lady whom I had seen drive by a couple times in a minivan, came walking across the street to the other end of the sidewalk to talk to Jennifer. She appeared angry, even from a distance. Unsure if I should go over (or if it was just a needless distraction), I asked Eliana if she knew what was going on. "I don't know. Go find out!" I took that as God's leading and did so.
This lady, whose son had an appointment at the psychiatric facility across the street (fitting location, huh?) was angered by our signs because of the impact they had on her 11-year-old son. I gently told her that these signs have literally saved lives and that we are told in the Bible to expose the darkness for what it truly is. "I'm an atheist, so that doesn't matter to me!" She was not interested in the fact that literal human lives have been saved. She belittled the value of the lives of others, caring only for the emotional state of her son. I told her I was sorry for her son's difficulties and that I would pray for both her and him. She stormed off, angrily accusing us of only caring for the unborn and not her child.
I will admit that one of the hardest things is that children have to be exposed to this at times, but many mothers have been completely unaffected by the images of a developing fetus, yet are stunned to see the gruesome reality of abortion and choose life solely because of it! And God protects they eyes of the little ones. In the experience of most of the counselors with children, He sovereignly allows them a simple understanding that this is a "broken" baby and protects them from any sort of trauma. I'm afraid this lady's child's mental issues have more to do with growing up with an atheistic mother than anything else. After all, without God, how do you handle such realities? If only this lady's anger would spur her to do something to end the reality that these pictures portray, rather than getting angry about truth being exposed.
Ultimately, there were three confirmed babies saved today! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness! I did not, however, remember to call the abortion mill at Wendover and I am irritated with myself for that. Prayerfully I will remember tomorrow. We need to know when they are open, as their schedule seems random, and our team has not been able to minister there for over a month as we want to be as effective as possible and use our ministry time wisely.
Well, I am awfully chatty tonight. There is a reason I don't blog much. ;) Shifting topics, my afternoon wrapped up with a great phone conversation with a random dad who is considering homeschooling and had heard I was the "homeschooling expert" (ha! I truly think any parent who homeschools is an expert in their own right!!) Nothing excites me more than sparking excitement for homeschooling in others! This dad is slowly realizing that there is another way to educate that does not include uncomfortable desks and seemingly-pointless assignments taught by factory-method for 6-7 hours a day, as though individuality did not exist and every child must learn "X" by grade "Y" or they are not "normal." Please. Oh to be a part of setting minds free! How exciting it is to see the lightbulbs come on!
His son simply does not learn like others and has had a self-esteem-destroying label slapped on him. I encouraged the dad that if God is in this, He will direct him and to not be afraid of all the unknowns. I encouraged him to find his son's interests...things that truly excite him...and look for learning opportunities to tailor his education to meet his needs. Perhaps starting a business would help make math meaningful so that it would make sense to him! It will give this dad more time with his son and pursuing something of value, such as a business, will then put more value on his education in his son's mind. I'm excited for this family as they set out on this new, uncharted path, trusting in God to guide them through the learning curve!
Well, I really must be done now. I'm sure you've heard enough of me for one night!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Watch Your Thoughts!
Pay attention, Christians, to the "why." Why do you do things? I believe that question is more important, in many ways, than the "what." The reason is this: If the "why" is right (to honor and glorify God), then the "what" will fall into place. Having the "why" right also protects against pride, as we will not be doing things for OUR honor and glory, but only HIS.
Pride is our greatest enemy! Satan uses it time and again to bring godly Christians down and make a mockery of Christianity. When you start to think, "Oh, I seem to have found a nugget of wisdom," or, "Oh, I seem to be actively living my faith now," watch out! These truthful mental statements may lead subtly to other statements that are deceptive and untrue. The next thought may easily be, "It seems not many other Christians know this or do this" (more possible truth)...followed by, WHAM, "I guess I'm doing pretty good. I've achieved a new level of spirituality. I'm doing better than ___."
These thoughts may be mixed with more deception, causing us to feel self-righteous and as though we have not fallen into the sin of pride at all...thoughts like, "It's too bad ___ hasn't discovered this yet. I need to pray for her/him." Truth mixed with a little pride is a dangerous, dangerous thing. It will not only render your works as filthy rags (Is. 64:6), but also destroy your testimony and lead weaker brothers and sisters into an attitude of apathy in their walk. They will reject seeking after righteousness and sanctification because of their fear of becoming prideful like you!
Watch your thoughts, Christian friends. That is where it begins (Prov. 23:7)! When you hear the prideful statements creeping in, repent and recognize your own needy state (Is. 53:6)! Without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:1-11)!
Pride is our greatest enemy! Satan uses it time and again to bring godly Christians down and make a mockery of Christianity. When you start to think, "Oh, I seem to have found a nugget of wisdom," or, "Oh, I seem to be actively living my faith now," watch out! These truthful mental statements may lead subtly to other statements that are deceptive and untrue. The next thought may easily be, "It seems not many other Christians know this or do this" (more possible truth)...followed by, WHAM, "I guess I'm doing pretty good. I've achieved a new level of spirituality. I'm doing better than ___."
These thoughts may be mixed with more deception, causing us to feel self-righteous and as though we have not fallen into the sin of pride at all...thoughts like, "It's too bad ___ hasn't discovered this yet. I need to pray for her/him." Truth mixed with a little pride is a dangerous, dangerous thing. It will not only render your works as filthy rags (Is. 64:6), but also destroy your testimony and lead weaker brothers and sisters into an attitude of apathy in their walk. They will reject seeking after righteousness and sanctification because of their fear of becoming prideful like you!
Watch your thoughts, Christian friends. That is where it begins (Prov. 23:7)! When you hear the prideful statements creeping in, repent and recognize your own needy state (Is. 53:6)! Without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:1-11)!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Expect It and Embrace It
"Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" -2 Timothy 3:12
Don't overlook the word "ALL" here. Not "most"...but "all." Also notice that it is not "all Christians," but "all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus." If you are being persecuted, consider it a joy. Consider that you are probably doing the right thing and the persecution is affirmation of this.
Likewise, if you are NOT being persecuted, ask yourself why. It is likely one of three things: 1) Your persecution has not yet come, but will as you continue to pursue a godly life. 2) You are not desiring to truly live a godly life, but a comfortable life of conformity to the world or modern American "churchianity." 3) You are not truly a follower of Christ, but a false convert that Jesus refers to in his parable of the sower.
Read the entire chapter of 2 Timothy 3 if you want even more to ponder on. It will really cause you to think!
Don't overlook the word "ALL" here. Not "most"...but "all." Also notice that it is not "all Christians," but "all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus." If you are being persecuted, consider it a joy. Consider that you are probably doing the right thing and the persecution is affirmation of this.
Likewise, if you are NOT being persecuted, ask yourself why. It is likely one of three things: 1) Your persecution has not yet come, but will as you continue to pursue a godly life. 2) You are not desiring to truly live a godly life, but a comfortable life of conformity to the world or modern American "churchianity." 3) You are not truly a follower of Christ, but a false convert that Jesus refers to in his parable of the sower.
Read the entire chapter of 2 Timothy 3 if you want even more to ponder on. It will really cause you to think!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Healing...A Question of Who, not What
Modern medicine claims objectivity and non-religion. Alternative medicine often openly links itself with religion (usually New Age, etc). The difference is that one is pretending and the other isn't. Most modern medicine worships the "god" of science and humanism, but Christians are not leery of that because it seems "neutral" and "scientific." But we are warned to "beware of science falsely so-called" (Col. 2:8). We are not tricked by the long-haired hippie man with a giant crystal hanging around his neck, but we are tricked by the clean-shaven, white-jacket-wearing man with the stethoscope hanging around his.
My point here isn't necessarily to bash modern medicine, nor to cast alternative medicine in a bad light, but rather to say that we need to be aware that everything we do and participate in has spiritual implications. Healing is no different. We are spiritual creatures and healing is a spiritual experience (just do a quick look-up of the word "heal" in the Bible and you'll have more than enough to keep you busy). This is why, spiritually speaking, I am not as concerned about the method as I am about the spiritual condition of the person employing it on me. Why would I want humans with god-complexes who think everything about science has already been discovered to soak up all the glory that belongs to God? And whose to say that the alternative practice that gives glory to "Mother Earth" has not simply co-opted truth in the name of their evil religion? Wouldn't that be a rather effective method to spread the lies of New Age, after all? Take GOD'S truth...which works and is effective...and co-opt it for New Age so that evil gets to steal the glory? I certainly don't want to give glory to that, either, regardless of whether or not it "works." So what am I getting at?
The bottom line: ALL truth is GOD'S truth. So, if kinesiology, for example, works...then is that Satan doing the healing or GOD? If all truth is God's truth, then what do we make of this?
Satan can't heal. "Mother Earth" can't heal. The "life force" can't heal. Science can't heal. Only God can. No matter who or what anyone wants to tell us. No matter how they manipulate or co-opt truth. "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
My point here isn't necessarily to bash modern medicine, nor to cast alternative medicine in a bad light, but rather to say that we need to be aware that everything we do and participate in has spiritual implications. Healing is no different. We are spiritual creatures and healing is a spiritual experience (just do a quick look-up of the word "heal" in the Bible and you'll have more than enough to keep you busy). This is why, spiritually speaking, I am not as concerned about the method as I am about the spiritual condition of the person employing it on me. Why would I want humans with god-complexes who think everything about science has already been discovered to soak up all the glory that belongs to God? And whose to say that the alternative practice that gives glory to "Mother Earth" has not simply co-opted truth in the name of their evil religion? Wouldn't that be a rather effective method to spread the lies of New Age, after all? Take GOD'S truth...which works and is effective...and co-opt it for New Age so that evil gets to steal the glory? I certainly don't want to give glory to that, either, regardless of whether or not it "works." So what am I getting at?
The bottom line: ALL truth is GOD'S truth. So, if kinesiology, for example, works...then is that Satan doing the healing or GOD? If all truth is God's truth, then what do we make of this?
Satan can't heal. "Mother Earth" can't heal. The "life force" can't heal. Science can't heal. Only God can. No matter who or what anyone wants to tell us. No matter how they manipulate or co-opt truth. "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
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